by Karen Hamilton

Dear Oprah

How are you? I am fine.

Well, actually I’m not so fine since the stock market crashed and we lost half our life savings but I’m trying to keep positive. Why the first thing I did when I got the bad news was a visualization exercise like they suggest in The Secret. So far the only thing I can see is me eating dog food but I’ll keep on trying.

I’ve been checking your website everyday (at least until we couldn’t pay the bill anymore and the phone company cut off our Internet access) to see what you and your friend Snooze Orman might suggest. Gosh she’s smart and so money-savvy. Why just looking at her hairdo I can tell right away she saves plenty of money by not spending very much on a hairdresser.

I love her awesome suggestions like, “Cut out the things you don’t really need.” I took her advice when the cat died recently and we opted for cremation instead of some over-the-top burial. We saved oodles of money and had a moving ceremony with just the family. Things went really well until the very end when the wind came up as we were scattering Fluffy’s ashes in the park. But as I told the kids, is it really such a big deal that she ended up in our clothes and our hair? Isn’t the Universe just giving us an opportunity to carry Fluffy with us for a little while longer?

It just makes me think of all your spiritual friends who have been a real source of inspiration! When Elizabeth Lesser told one of your viewers that she should rid herself of the idea that life is supposed to be a certain way, I thought she was talking to me. I always thought my midlife reinvention would be about running a marathon or starting my own business. Who’d have guessed I’d be looking for work and reinventing myself as a greeter at Wal-Mart.

My husband’s a little concerned about what’s going to happen when my prescription for bioidentical hormones runs out and we can’t afford to get it refilled. But I’ve told him plenty of times that menopause is a natural part of a woman’s life and all those stories about out of control, hormonal 50 year-olds who bludgeon their husbands are pure fiction. I think.

That’s it for now, Oprah since I’ve got to start dinner. Oh, and that reminds me of another thing I have to be grateful for due to this silly recession. Because we can only afford to eat one meal a day, I'm losing all sorts of weight. I call it the Recession Diet. Let me know if you're interested in the details.

Best,
Karen