by Jill O'Donnell

How good are you at handling stress? Whether you are caring for an elderly person or a child with disabilities you can suffer from burnout. Burnout is a frequent problem for caregivers. It can stem from fatigue, conflicting demands, financial concerns and changes in daily routine and recreation. It can occur at home or on the job. Each person every day is faced with stressful situations but if you place too much stress on yourself, your body cannot cope.

Georgia has been looking after Ed, her husband of 50 years who is now bedridden. Recently she fell and fractured her shoulder making it impossible to provide the care that Ed truly needs. Luckily for her, her eldest daughter was able to move in to the family home and look after her father until her mother was well enough to take back the caregiving duties.

Often, too much stress can lead to lack of sleep that can eventually lead to depression. When you are feeling down, try not to be discouraged or wracked with guilt. It is not possible to remain happy all the time particularly when over-burdened with responsibilities.

When caregiving is really getting you down:

• try to figure out what is bothering you (no time for yourself, nobody to talk to about it)
• find someone empathetic to talk to (a friend, relative, therapist, cleric)
• do something you enjoy (watch a movie on TV, go for a walk)
• take care of yourself (have a nice long bath, take a snooze)
• have a good laugh (It will make you feel better)
• consider using meditation or yoga to reduce stress
• get professional help if you need it (a counselor, therapist or psychiatrist)

Doctors often think of caregivers as “hidden patients”. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of your loved one. Stay in touch with family and friends.

Find an organization in your community that can give you respite from your caregiving duties. Some agencies provide volunteers while other have paid workers to give caregiver relief.

Susan, a retired nurse had moved her mother in law who is suffering from dementia into her home. When her Minister suggested a support group, Susan said she didn’t think she needed one. After much cajoling from friends and family members she eventually joined a group at the local Alzheimer Society. After her first meeting she went home and said, “ There are other people just like me there and they have the same problems and concerns.” Needless to say, Susan was happy she found such a great group to share her feelings and concerns with over looking after someone with dementia.

Find a support group for caregivers who are in the same situation as you are. They do make a difference.

Jill L. O’Donnell, RN, DPH, BA is the co-author of The Canadian Retirement Guide and Executive Director, Complete Geriatric Care.